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Last updateMon, 22 Jun 2020 1am

My Canadian Coronavirus Story

I'm in China, eating spicy bat soup with noodles slurrrrp sssluurrrp! A side order of pangolin cold cuts and tiger penis balm for a rash. I'm there studying Plasma Physics for Dunkin Dynomite Fusion Inc. It's a new Fusion Energy startup financed by Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Mike Bloomberg, Oil Corps, Alberta Gov, etc. Turns out the rash is linked to #Coronavirus.

The Company says don't come back to Canada. Isolate, disappear, wait it out. Hotels, meals, drinks, entertainment, money will all be provided and paid for. I take a flight to Northern Italy fearing some kind of Chinese Government crack down, incarceration, etc. I go to restaurants, bars, clubs, get drunk a lot, have sex with 3 women from Germany, soccer games, operas, all you can drink espressos (more prevents more cancer Dr Oz Show) ..

On TV European Experts are talking about Coronavirus, Terrorism. It doesn't make sense, it would be stupid terrorists that would give themselves the virus.. I take a flight for Hawaii.

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